This afternoon I drove home after I passed my driving test . Along the way, I was tempted to go back to my old shelf. Then I was reminded of an image of Jesus wept. I told myself I do not want to waste the effort God has been trying to teach me. All the more I don't want Jesus to weep for me because I disobey.
I always pride myself in my driving . I passed my driving test first time 25 years back when I was a teen. I always boasted that if a person is able , then others should give way to him or her.
As such my driving for the past 25 years has been shaped into all the bad habits one can ever think of.
I don't signal when turning . I told friends signal is to inform others that I am going to turn , but if I know there is no other road users around , I don't have to waste my effort to signal. I jumped queue in inter-section or traffic lights . My close friends warned me about traffic bully . I
told them I should be safe because gangsters only come out at night or odd hours whereas my timing is peak hours in the morning and after office. I am not bound by speed limit at all . And so far have never been caught speeding driving . But God knows. With this attitude , all the good advices did not change me anything. I am getting bolder and worst . I behaved like a road gangster myself , jumped queue , no signalling , instead of give way when come out from intersection , I forced my car out so that on-going car has no choice but to give way to me. My family members did not approve my driving , they refuse to allow me to take turn as one of the driver in long distance journeys. I know it so I don't show it when they are my passengers , but God sees it.
The day God said times up , I need to obey roads rules is when I re-located to another country . First day I landed there I kept hearing how tough to pass the driving test in this country . I don't think there is any problem with me. I don't understand what is so difficult , afterall most of us have been driving for the past 20 or more years.
On the second night I re-located to that country I started to drive. Though not knowing the route , the way , the place , I still managed . One week later I could drive alone without directions. Within one month I managed to drive to highway on a long distance journey by following the maps myself . I took things for granted . I continued to drive in my own way .
Then 3rd March came my first driving test . The examiner failed me because of three things : I drove too slow , stopped abruptly , not smooth progressing. I couldn't believe my ears . I couldn't accept the fact that I failed. What about many praised me as a skilled driver. How could I failed ? How could he failed me? How could God allowed this to happen to me ?
I cried and cried . I cried my anger out.
Then came the second attempt on 19th March . Its a blow when the examiner failed me because
I failed to observe the traffic through rear window while reversing . I cried and cried again.
My son asked me have I forgotten he has reminded me to do so before . I said yes I remembered he told me so . It was God speaking to me through my son. I woke up and openned my eyes to see . I see that God is telling me its time I learn to unlearn old things and re-learn new things. Throw away the old and bad things . And pick up new and good things.
I am forever thankful to God that He has never leave me nor forsaken me. When I was blinded by the pride and praises of the world , He is still faithfully and patiently wait for me to come around.
That night I confessed my sins. I re-examine my driving. I see that I refused to obey laws , I go my own ways and still boasted about it. I learn humiliation at the same time. I asked to be coached . I accepted commends and really listen , listen with humble heart to learn , to do the correct things. Not just to pass the driving test. This pleases God . Finally , I hear what God wants me to know. I learn humiliation, I learn to be humble, I learn to obey laws , I learn to
give ways , I learn if I don't do the correction now , I might be in bigger trouble somedays soon.
I learn that God allowed me to fail 2 times because its better to see me cried because of failing the driving test than to see me cried because of accidents .
Now that I have get my driving licence in this country that I have just re-located to , I have a choice . To go back to my old self and continue to sin and one of these days I will bear the consequences of sin , died or injured in accident or I can set myself free from this and follow rules
and knowing that God will be pleased with me.
W P
31st March 2009 10:27 pm
